This has been a rough week ... A lot of different kinds of discoveries ... one of which is the fact that I have been beat down. I never ever held shit in... those that know me, know this.... I have some important things to talk about and can't figure out how to get it out.

 But this is what happens when you have to hold shit in because you are afraid to say anything ... because you never knew what the reply would be or when it was going to come at you or how bad it was going to hurt.

On the tv show "the big bang theory" Sheldon is portraited as a Narcissist...and it's funny ... but live with a Narcissist in real life ... nothing is funny about that.

And that's that.
And in case you don't know what a Narcissist is... you found your way here, didn't you?  Now go google that shit. There is some scarry stuff out there. I mean, there is only the truth on the internet, right? Like this post.... is what I am saying really the truth or am I just dreaming shit up? The only ones that know me will know for sure.  ...

I have been absent! There was no mind to blogging in the last year. It's a new year. I need inspiration. Quick update....dad died...mom died...her house got burned the next day. I made a huge mistake in my relationship, but I think it was a bit of self-punishment as well.got with someone that has a record of domestics but was never at fault. Same with me. I was the one that initiated it every time. Pffft! My daughter has lost her fucking marbles and gave up everything that was good for her and wants to have her tubes untied to have more kids with that imbecile wanna be #MarshalMatthers looser bitch that has been born from the same cloth as the princess. Self-righteous, the world 'ows' me spoiled ass brats. Yea yea yea...all you girls were molested and treated bad by your families and it's our fault you are loveless lazy ass cunts.  All you boys witnessed something so dramatic it turned you into gangsters and only defiance hides your true emotions that will make you cry like a little girl if they ever came out. ....but anyways, this is about me... not them... (*cough* loosers *cough*).  I am not quite there yet, but I am trying to get back into my writing. I just need the right space, peace, freedom, TIME... but that's where I believe I was handed all the bad cards. For now...as I said...TIME is the most important thing...taking as well as receiving as well as being patient... patience...that's what I need the most