the happiness jar - stolen from a Facebook Post.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THOSE HAPPINESS JARS, SHALL WE?

Dear lovelies —

About a year ago, when I first launched this Facebook page, I posted the photo below — a picture of my HAPPINESS JAR. 

The HAPPINESS JAR is a project I started in my own life many years ago, and it has remained a practice that I've tried to keep up with regularity ever since. (Though I do slip and forget, because I get lazy and overwhelmed sometimes by life, as we all do.) But in its essence, the HAPPINESS JAR is an almost absurdly simple idea — every single day, at the end of the day, I grab a scrap of paper (the corner of a telephone bill, or a bit of an old to-do list) and I write down upon it the happiest moment of that day. And I put the date on it. And then I fold up the note and stick it in the jar. And that's the whole practice.

It takes about 35 seconds to do, but what it brings me is enormous — not only the pleasure of finding a good moment in each day (for even the horrible days have one least-bad moment) but the lasting benefits of recording that moment forever.

As years go by, whenever I'm having a rough time, I dig through the jar and pull out random slips of paper, and delight in them — all those momentary gems of life that I would have immediately forgotten, had I not jotted them down. They bring infinite comfort.

I am continually amazed at how simple my happiest moment of the day usually is. It is hardly ever a moment of explosive achievement or delirious excess. For all my striving and all my ambitions and all my seeking of remarkable experiences, it is important to recognize that my happiest moments are generally really common and quiet and unremarkable. In fact, my happiest moment each day is usually just a glance of something sweet and small, an unexpected flush of emotion, a bit of sun on my face, a pleasant encounter on the sidewalk, a cool glass of water at just the right instant, the cat-like contentment after a nap, a glimpse of a bird just out of the corner of my eye, a recognition of some tiny lovely thing. For instance, on the day that I first went on the Oprah Winfrey show (which was obviously a peak experience in my life) my happiest moment occurred that morning in the hotel room, when my mom was helping me get ready to go on the show by ironing the sash of my dress for me. (Watching her, I felt like a child again, going to my first day of school, or to a middle school dance. And I felt her love for me, and it was beautiful.) As good as the rest of that day was (and it was amazing and wild) nothing beat that tiny, sweet moment.

So I introduced my friends on this page to my HAPPINESS JAR, and people started making their own, and sending me photos, which I then share on this page. It's been so extraordinary to see this practice spreading! People make their jars out of everything from old pickle containers, to beautiful handmade ceramics, to bowls set in the middle of the table, to rare antiques, to a child's handicraft. We've had HAPPINESS JARS from all over North America, but also from Egypt, the Philippines, Poland, Iran, Turkey, Russia, Brazil, Colombia, Indonesia... We've had family HAPPINESS JARS, mother-daughter HAPPINESS JARS, post-divorce HAPPINESS JARS, get-me-through cancer HAPPINESS JARS, New Year's Day HAPPINESS JARS (to be read the following New Year's, in celebration of the happiest moments of the passing year) — every imaginable iteration. I love every single one of them, and I love you all.

I also have to add how sometimes it breaks my heart in the sweetest way — when I hear some of the questions that people ask about "the rules" of the HAPPINESS JAR. It is as if people don't want to get in trouble, by doing their HAPPINESS JARS wrong! I have been asked, "Am I allowed to ever read the notes again?" Or, "Am I allowed to sometimes write a prayer, instead of a moment of happiness?" Or, "Is it OK if I let somebody else put a happy moment in my jar?" Or, "Does my HAPPINESS JAR have to say 'HAPPINESS JAR' on it?" Or, "Is it OK if my HAPPINESS JAR is actually a bowl?" Or, "Are you allowed to put lucky stones in your HAPPINESS JAR?" Or (this one is usually asked with a sense of panic): "What happens when my HAPPINESS JAR gets FULL????!!" Or (this one breaks my heart the most): "WHERE CAN I BUY A HAPPINESS JAR??? I've been looking for them everywhere on the Internet and can't find them anywhere!"

Do you see how touching and revealing these questions are? Do you see how much these concerns tell us about how uncertain we are about our own happiness, or the permissions that we feel we need to seek? How desperately we want to know the rules? How our fears of getting in trouble block us from our happiness? Not to mention the idea that our happiness is, of course, something that has to be purchased from a legitimate commercial source! (Trust me, these questions resonate with me because I feel like they are all the sorts of questions that I demand of the world, when I'm complicating what should be very simple interactions.)



What are the rules, you ask?

Guys — there aren't any rules! I have no idea! I just made this thing up, because it works for me! It's YOUR happiness; you may do absolutely whatever you like with it, sweet friends! Put whatever you like in there — whatever brings you peace or joy. And when your jar fills up (which I dearly hope it shall) just make another one. Read them if you like; leave them quietly folded if you prefer. And you can make it out of an old tissue box if you want! The vessel is not the magic part; the vessel is just the vessel. What's inside is simply — very simply — the best part of your life on earth.

So that is the HAPPINESS JAR project, dear friends.

I send you blessings from my jar to yours, and all my love...

October

Rob poofed away into the Ukraine right around my birthday. I tried to stay in the house in Camelot Villa for a bit, but it sure wasn't going to work for a long term solution. I met a great guy and decided to move out of the House and in with him in Marysville.
Target was being an asshole about me transferring to the Target up in Port Huron. I'm sure Kaili had a lot to do with that, so I eventually just didn't go to work anymore. I feel like a useless piece of baggage right now. Not working... it sucks. I have to get my ass in gear and look hard.... harder than what I have been.... it's only been a week and a half. LOL I make it sound like I've been sitting on my ass for months now. No, just a couple of weeks...

nothing really matters...

but moving forward. It's a slow process, but its moving. Found another way around the whole adoption process. The faster I can get this done, and get on with my life, the better it will be for all of us. Nikos and My life will be much more peaceful and he will be a more fulfilled child for it. The stress levels at this house and this family are ridiculous. Its not normal. There are at least 4 different dings going off for the SAME notification for the same person... for what reason, we don't know. Rob or the dogs do not how to sit down and chill out, there are constant movements in this home, which make everyone nervous. Niko does not know how to play on his own and as soon as he leaves one toy Rob tries to clean it up, which Niko then gets upset over. He doesn't understand that children need that type of chaos. It's okay to negotiate with him and have him (niko) help clean up, but not do it for him every single time. ... so much for today. I'm tired. Worked way too long again. Just exhausted. and of course I'm stuck having to amuse mr little unhappy and cooking and finishing the laundry that was started yesterday but never finished. So adios.

... I'm sorry Cinderella ....

on an almost daily basis i get to hear that "he" cleaned, how much he cleans and that's all he ever does and how I mis-treat him or not even appreciate it.
BUT it's only a real cinderella syndrome IF you actually cleaned a toilet or two, or take the window cleaner and wipe down the window that your son globbed a big huge piece of chocolate on days ago... where I thought it was bird poop from the outside, and was going to get to, when the weather gets a little better and I get a chance to grab the hose OUTSIDE to spray it off.
The Fan left big huge dust balls all over the dinner table the other day, when I got home after working a longer shift than anticipated. My bones were hurting, my back was cramping up, and I picked up the ginormous evil dust bunnies off the table thinking it might have been just a "fluke", but a couple minutes later, more laid there. I grabbed the vacuum and made my way up the chair to clean most of it with the hose, then crawled back up there to wipe it all down with duster. And he couldn't understand why I was 'mad' or why it had to be done right then and there.
I serve my three year old Dinner on that table, and I doubt he would enjoy having any sort of nicotine soaked dust in his french fries, soup , or whatever it is I decide to make that night.
Seriously Cinderella? You don't do much around here. You vacuum the living room/bedrooms/kitchen floor because of your seeing eye dog , you DO NOT vacuum the sofas or any of the toys that collect those black pesky hairs as if they were magnetic. You empty the dishwasher once a day ... and then you sit on your couch all day, eating your bon bons complaining you need your two hours of "me time" talking to your girlfriend on Skype. ... Your blindness is a handicap, I understand, but it's not an excuse to be a whiny bitch.

Thank you

*grabs soap box and walks off*

Poetry SLAM - The Un-Romantic

 I wrote this a long time ago and it stayed unpublished for a long time. Not sure why! 

You and I look things 

      in a different     way

You say: 

LOOK AT ALL THESE STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          If I could give you something
 that lasts forever, 
I would give you ALL of these.

I Smile, I Crinch,

I THINK:

FOOL! All of these are burnt out before you even got done reaching the end of your Daddies Dick.


You Say

This Moon will always connect us,
because no matter where we are.
it will look the same....

I Smile, I Crinch,

I THINK: 

Uh uh, Fool!  You in China! I'm here! We are looking at it from a different angle and a different timezone. .
NUMBER 2!! (thought I was done, huh?) IF it falls down, it will also squish the both of us, NO matter where we are. 

So, you see, I am an Un-romantic.... BUT it's still okay ... because you can still sit next to me, looking at the stars and point at them and say: "Can you believe all of these stars are actually dead? For hundreds of years!" 

And my Heart will melt!

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yep, that's the title of the post... OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (there, I said it again)
So tonight I scroll down my Facebook Wall since nobody was talking, and came across my "Likes" and the such. Right there, almost stabbing my eye out, was this little square box, and it said: "Deeliscious" ....the FIRST (or must have been my last) "Pin" (For you non-savy Pinteresters out there, it's the marking of an idea you like on this ginormous internet Pinboard sort of thing. Basically the same thing as your freakin' BOOKMARKS !!!! ) showed.... (omg i'm going to cry) ...  Ok, let me start over since this last one up there went kind of out of hand .....

yep, that's the title of the post... OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (there, I said it again)
So tonight I scroll down my Facebook Wall since nobody was talking, and came across my "Likes" and the such. Right there, almost stabbing my eye out, was this little square box, and it said: "Deeliscious" ....the FIRST "Pin" showed ... (omg, i'm going to cry) ..  35 Lovely Short Hairstyles for Older Women! He He He He He. Wow! There is just so much wrong with this in so many ways... 
FIRST: The word "Lovely". Lovely you say? That's what an old person says!!!!! Not no 41 year old! Then it goes to the Word "Old"! 
Seriously ???? Oh No, No, No!!!! That we will have to change! We will just hide that little box from the public! I don't want to get rid of it ... because you never know. I will have to peek at it another time. .... 

TBC


The next day:
Well my thoughts about this were going somewhere, but then I went to bed and now they are gone. I need to get used to just FINISHING things I start. Oh well! I guess I can post this now. :) 
As my dear friend JoJo would say:


Love peace and chicken grease!